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:iconsomethingoncesacred: More from SomethingOnceSacred


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Poetry by earthian101

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Submitted on
October 8, 2012
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346
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21 (who?)
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18
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Sit and stay a spell,
Before life takes you
Away.
I am going to write a love story
Across your lungs
So you can exhale
Sweet things
When you can't
Find the words.

Sing to me
That pretty,
Tragic little song.
The one about how
She broke your name
And took your bones.
I will find each fragmented piece
And clean out
All the maggots.

My dearest,
Your windows are broken,
Cracked and tear-streaked.
Allow me to mend you;
Stained glass
Is far more beautiful
That just a pair of
Empty eyes.

Come outside
And we will dance
In the freezing rain.
We can help each other
Wash off all the poisons
Left clinging
To the backs of our minds
And the insides
Of our mouths.

Sleep now,
Lovely birds.
And cease
Flying in circles.
Tomorrow
I will take you past
The farthest horizons,
Where no cages will
Ever
Keep you again.
About my dear friends. I love you all more than I could ever hope to express.

--

-Do you feel anything when you read this piece? If so, what?

-What did you like about it?

-What did you dislike about it?

It'd be wonderful if you could let me know what you think, dears!









*Cugra
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlauras45:
LauraS45 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
ever so lovely :)
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much, dear!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lovely piece. read like quiet encouragement.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, sugar ^^ I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconyogateacher:
YogaTeacher Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I felt it, calm hope brushing off ruin. The imagery is fragile and beautiful, and it's very well written.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my XD;

Thank you, so much! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me, dear. And I'm so very glad you enjoyed it. ^^
Reply
:iconjuniorel:
juniorel Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012   Writer
Sing to me
That pretty,
Tragic little song.
The one about how
She broke your name
And took your bones.


That right there. That's my favorite part. That part is haunting. I love the way you traded name and bones from the verbs that would normally go with them. It was just jarring enough to induce thought. Got me asking questions of the piece and reading it more closely to try and discover the answers.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, gosh XD;

Thanks, so very much, dear! I'm really glad you liked it so well. ^^

Originally, I had written it in the reversed order, the one that you would think it would be written in, but it didn't quite seem to fit the meaning I was trying to go for. So, I switched them, and it made much more sense... At least, to me lol

Thank you for sharing that with me, though! I love being able to read other people's thoughts and perspectives that way. ^^
Reply
:iconanonymous-yet-again:
anonymous-yet-again Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012   Writer
this is really good. it's kind of scary at the same time as it's comforting, like i thought being taken past the farthest horizons would have to be being killed; i mean how else does a caged bird escape? but it's a nice thing; like gentle murder?
but also it doesn't have to be read that way. and it's nice because the speaker is like comforting by asking to be sung songs, like making the other feel more important or something.

this is a very vague comment but so are my thoughts.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's not vague at all! Hahah, what a very unique way of looking at it; thanks for sharing that with me. ^^ I love hearing about different perspectives like that, so this, being so strikingly different from my own thoughts, was a real treat for me, thank you!
Reply
:iconanonymous-yet-again:
anonymous-yet-again Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012   Writer
you're welcome, i guess (not because you aren'y welcome, just because it wasn't a lot of effort or anything) I'm glad it wasn't vague :) .
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"Stained glass
Is far more beautiful
That just a pair of
Empty eyes."
ohhhh your writing is so beautiful!

I once wrote a (love) lullaby piece, and many people commented on how tragic and sad it was, which I never really got. But I get that feeling from this piece. It tastes so real because it's not only redemption, but the things you need to be rescued from. It is a savior as well as the vile world they are saving.
That's what I love about it. It's so beautiful but still so true and harsh. It almost feels like an expression of hopelessness and path to salvation all in one.

:heart: :heart: I love it so much :heart:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, goodness! :blush:

Thank you, very much, dear! I'm so happy you liked it. X3;

Gosh, that's such an interesting way of viewing it. o.o I never really thought about it, that way, honestly.

I guess I sort of wanted to write something that, at the very least, attempted to express a sense of 'I know it hurts, but it won't hurt forever/you're not alone' kind of deal XD;

Getting to read something like that, though, a perspective so different from my own, was a real treat- thank you!
Reply
:iconriot-girl16:
Riot-Girl16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012   Writer
Wow!!! So beautiful!!! I love it!!! :)
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my gosh XD; Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it. ^^
Reply
:iconainrana:
Ainrana Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
How sad, but I feel slight hope to this, as well. Like a woman trying to comfort an emotionally frail man, or somewhere along that road, even though he's probably not going to recover. :heart:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What an interesting way of looking at it XD Thanks so much for sharing that with me, dear! I really appreciate it. ^^
Reply
:iconainrana:
Ainrana Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Don't mention it! :)
Reply
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