Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconsomethingoncesacred: More from SomethingOnceSacred


Featured in Collections

Great Literature by ArthurCrow

Poetry by MauraGreen

words by mrs-antichrist


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
December 26, 2012
Submitted with
Sta.sh Writer
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
528
Favourites
32 (who?)
Comments
33
×

He bides his time between

Teaching little girls to smile and

Showing the sleepless

What nightmares are.

 

When he was a boy,

He was under the impression

That he had wings;

 

His naivete led him to believe

He could fly.

 

Spending the eternities before sunsets

Gathering imaginary feathers

And weightless syllables

Seems to mend the ageless wounds.

 

He is like a crescendo, the

Very crest of a wave as

The ocean swallows it up.

 

Writing pretty messages

On the inside of his mouth-

I try to tell him that he can't sing

With his tongue in his cheek.

 

There is a music box in his pocket,

To remind him of all the

Nonsense daydreams and

Meaningless lullabies he had once endured,

Over

And over again.

 

My arms and legs are scraped raw

From diving to catch his words

That just needed a push in the

Proper direction

In order to float.

 

I don't mind the aches;

A little blood

Never hurt anyone.

 

He has a way of

Leaving pieces behind,

Mindlessly lodging them under

The breastbones of passers-by.

 

His form is made of something beautiful

That got left out in the rain,

Something too heavy to reach the sky

But still too light to sink.

 

I say that he doesn't belong

On the ground.

He just laughs

And tells me that there is no

Inbetween.

I told you, once

That you were meant

To fly.


--

-Is the imagery decent? Lacking?

-Is there a particular line or stanza that you like? Dislike?

-Does the wording seem strange or poorly-chosen?









© ~SomethingOnceSacred
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmauragreen:
MauraGreen Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist
Since you asked in description, I feel compelled to point my likes and parts that caght my eye more than others. But before, I'd like to ask, is this about real person? If yes, what kind of artist is he? If not, what kind did you imagine him to be?
Now, the whole piece has some kind of purity to it; I like you put a few lines about him as a boy, I think it adds to the impact of the poem. I can't really express in my own words why, so I will use words of another deviant: "A creative adult is a child who survived."
I found these two lines
"A little blood
Never hurt anyone. "
quite interesting, and when I relate to the poem, a bit ironic.
The lines about leaving pieces behind were the one that caugh my eye the most because I know quite a few amazing artists who tend not finish their beautiful work or treat it so light-headed. And especially that light-headedness is very real through the whole poem, I really loved that.
However, I did had problems understanding some parts, would you please explain them to me:
"And weightless syllables
Seems to mend the ageless wounds."
and
"Writing pretty messages
On the inside of his mouth-"
I apologize if this seems odd, English is not my mother tongue so that may be the problem. All in all, I would say this a true piece of art. Well done.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Not at all! I greatly appreciate the interest in itself, to be honest with you. It's not often that I get such a detailed comment, so I am more than happy to answer one such as this.

First off, yes, this piece was written about a real person, a very, very dear friend of mine. This was actually part of a gift for him, from last Christmas. He is a poet, since you've asked. My work never truly does him justice, I feel.

Regarding the leaving pieces of himself behind comment, this friend of mine (you can see his work at ~a-la-douce-memoire, by the way) gives himself away to others. This is a good and a bad thing, depending on your perspective. He's left 'pieces of himself' with me, which I shall cherish forever. What I mean by this is that, basically, we've grown quite close.

As for the two lines you've mentioned in the latter portions of your comment, the first, referring to the syllables one, is, at least in my mind as I wrote it, referring to him as being a poet. Writing for him, sometimes, is an escape, seems to make the hurting go away, or become less sharp, of that makes sense.

The latter of the two ('messages on the inside of his mouth') refers to my own work about him. He is quite frequently my muse, I must confess.

Thank you so very much for your kind words, dear! That really makes my day.
Reply
:iconmauragreen:
MauraGreen Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist
I'll go through his galery when my summer break starts (if I do it now, I probably wouldn't do his art justice). It would seem I interpreted few lines wrong, but I love it this way to. Indeed, people like that who tend to give themselves to others are usually the very valuable and true friends.
I can relate to him, I'm grateful for writing. It can help so much sometimes.
Thanks for explaining it to me and I'm glad my comment made you happy :)
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, art is all about interpretation XD I really love hearing other peoples' perspectives on my work, even if they are drastically different from my own.

My pleasure! It really was a treat to read such kind words.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my goshhhhh I will just love you forever, now.
You are fantastic.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
.///. Hahah, thank you?

lol I'm so glad you enjoyed it, deary. :huggle:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you're so incredibly talented! everything you write reminds me of that :heart:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Fuuuhhhh! Hearing that from someone as gifted with words as you are really makes my day XD I cannot even tell you.

Thank you so much, dear!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:la: well I'm glad because your fantastic writing makes my day!
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, same to you! Whenever I see one of your poems in my inbox, it's always such a treat! XD
Reply
Add a Comment: