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:iconsomethingoncesacred: More from SomethingOnceSacred


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Submitted on
October 31, 2012
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When they buried you,
It was face-down,
With your
Arms over your head.

I want to make-believe
I'm just hiding
Under the covers.


Don't worry-
I'll make them all
Go away.

You and I
Stood on the roof
During thunderstorms,
With mason jars,
Telling the heavens how sorry we were.

We have to make the angels
Stop crying.


I have fifty-four jars
Of dirty rainwater.

Every night,
Complaints of monsters
In the closet.

Each time I shut the door,
You stared into the mirror.

I can still see them.

That evening,
I walked you to the dock
And helped you
Find sea glass and
Pretty stones

To fill your pockets.
We tied and anchor to your feet.

I'll send you a post card
When I get to where I'm going.


The angels must have
Been so sad
That night,
Because it rained
For weeks.
Hush,

Little baby,

Don't

Say a word.


--

It was either madness, or genius.

--

-What do you think this piece is about?

-Is there a point in your life that you think you can apply it to?

-Do you have any favorite or least favorite parts?









© *SomethingOnceSacred
Add a Comment:
 
:iconanonymous-yet-again:
anonymous-yet-again Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012   Writer
i think the line break are good because it sounds stilted, like someone crying or having trouble talking. just saying. maybe it's personal opinion.
it sounds like someone committed suicide, at least from the beginning, but yeah. as i always write, i find weird thing in poems.
it's beautiful though.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me! I really appreciate that. ^^

And second lol you always write the most lovely comments, dear. They really make my day.

That's actually sort of what I was going for, in fact. XD It's not often that someone reads a very similar thing in my work that I had written in it, so this is a bit shocking to me.
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:iconanonymous-yet-again:
anonymous-yet-again Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012   Writer
you're welcome. i think. as long as the shock was a good one. (i'm slightly stunned as well, that i made sense for once. but in a good way.)
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It was a good shock lol I assure you.
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:icondoublethefun:
doublethefun Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
OMG. Great work!
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:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, thank you, dear!
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Student Writer
This is actually really good. I think that your line breaks could use some work, but overall, there was excellent diction to this piece, and great examples of 'show, don't tell'.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, thank you!

I'm glad you enjoyed it, dear. ^^ And I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the piece with me.
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Hey, no issue! Thanks for writing :)
Reply
:icona-la-douce-memoire:
a-la-douce-memoire Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Fucking. Love. The. Shit. Out. Of. This.

All caps, seven sentences.
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