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The narrow spaces
Between typewritten letters
Are just large enough
To lay in.

You and I
Are crafters of flesh and bone;
Our skins,
Made of weathered canvas
And stitched together with
Sweet dreams on lonely nights.

Blood falls from your lips,
Staining those folded
Paper butterflies
You make so well;

I like to catch them
When they fall,

And toss them back into the air.

There are
Tiny,
Crimson-colored pieces of you
Splattered about the walls
And the inside
Of my mouth.

(You taste of melancholy,
And masked, uneasy lullabies.)

I would happily
Bear the red smears
Of your steady fingertips
If you run out of
Tattered parchment.

Allow me to
Spread my ashes
Over your ribs and
In the hollow of your throat;

You would look beautiful
Covered in faerie-tales
Made of soot.

I will sing to you as we write
A few more,
Peaceful endings
Across our
Broken bodies-

Beds of coal,
Disguised in silks,
Promise dirty wordsmiths breath
In the wake of
Sleepless morns
And restless eves.

I can see myself
Blowing melodious smoke
Under your tongue
As you
Fill my lungs
With plasma.

Perhaps now,
We can both
Go to sleep.
You are my favorite thing

To dream;

You are my favorite

Story to write.


--

I had a dream of using the ashes of my past to write lovely words over your waiting skin, and you using your spilled blood to mark my flesh with happier endings.

There was never a time before then that I slept so sweetly.

--

-Is there a particular part of this piece that you liked best? Least?

-How effective is the imagery?

-Is the wording too odd?









*SomethingOnceSacred
Add a Comment:
 
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your fantastic work has been featured here!
I'd really appreciate it if you could give some love to the other features and :+fav: the journal! :heart:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my goodness, thank you! Hahah, I'm really honored, and I shall absolutely be sure to go and give the rest of the features a look. ^^
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure :aww:
Thanks for taking a look!
Reply
:iconpigeonguy:
PigeonGuy Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Oh this is soft, deep, and amazing.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, thank you, dear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^^
Reply
:iconpigeonguy:
PigeonGuy Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Writer
indeed!
Reply
:iconskrayle:
Skrayle Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
Absolutely fantastic. Like the others have said, you have a fantastic way of describing things that is both vivid and slightly surreal. I don't think the wording is odd, just unique. In a good way. And I love the first stanza, it's such great imagery, you're drawn in right away.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my gosh ;;

Thank you very much for your lovely comment, first of all! You've really made my day, dear. ^^

And second, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and answering my question. So thank you very much for that as well! :huggle: I'm so glad you enjoyed it. ^^
Reply
:iconskrayle:
Skrayle Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional General Artist
You're very welcome! :D
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think this is beautiful. :heart: I love the lines:

You would look beautiful
Covered in faerie-tales
Made of soot.


There's some really beautiful imagery throughout, and you should be really proud of it. :D I agree with ~schongslipper that a little re-organization will benefit the piece, but that's something which can be easily fixed. :nod:

Lovely work, keep writing!
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your comments always brighten my day, dear, thank you! ^^

Hahah, I will most definitely be re-working and re-formatting this one when I'm a tad more coherent and when I've gathered my thoughts on it a bit more.

I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the piece with me, though! Thank you so much! X3
Reply
:iconthemoormaiden:
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lovely piece with some interesting imagery.

*typewritten
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!

And, oh, goodness XD Hahah, thanks for pointing that spelling error out to me. Somehow, I missed it.
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"The narrow spaces
Between type written letters
Are just large enough
to lay in."

This is definitely my favourite part of this, although all of it is beautifully written. The wording isn't odd at all in my opinion and it comes together in fabulous imagery.

"Beds of coal,
Disguised in silks,
Promise dirty wordsmiths breath
In the wake of
Sleepless morns
And restless eves."

I will say that this stanza,while lovely, doesn't seem to fit as well with the rest of this piece for some reason. I'm not entirely sure why I feel that way, it just seems to stand out when I read it through.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, first, let me thank you for such a wonderful comment, dear. It's always such a treat to get feedback like that.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece, and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it with me.

Yes, I most certainly agree with you on the account of that stanza seeming a tad odd. I felt something to its effect was necessary, but I don't think I quite got it down the way I had intended to.

Hopefully, I'll be able to rework it into something that fits a little neater soon enough. Hahah, perhaps when I'm a bit more coherent.
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :rose:
If you do rework it, I hope it turns out the way you want it to :)
Reply
:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"Our skins, / Made of weathered canvas / And stitched together with / Sweet dreams on lonely nights."

I love the imagery in this poem. It just seems to convey an ache (maybe a good one, and a bad one too), and adds beautiful poetic language to already poetic emotions and thoughts. The lines that I quoted are my favorites because it seems like memories bind two individuals together. The ending of the poem is just heartbreaking. All the metaphors and imagery and everything just danced around before then and all of a sudden you hit us readers with "Perhaps now, / We can both / Go to sleep."
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my goodness.

Thank you, dear, for such a lovely comment. I'm so very glad you enjoyed it.

And what an interesting way of looking at it, I must say. You've painted such a picture with your words just now.
Reply
:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're so welcome! (Painted comments for poetry... I like that).
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, that is a rather pretty phrase, now that I think of it, the way you've pieced it together.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"There are
Tiny,
Crimson-colored pieces of you
Splattered about the walls
And the inside
Of my mouth.

(You taste of melancholy,
And masked, uneasy lullabies.) "

I had to comment. Just because I adore those stanzas to no end.
As always, I love your imagery. It sounds very natural in the piece, and of course, is very beautiful.
And I do not think the wording is odd: I think they are the perfect way to take on a commonly-expressed theme.
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You need to just stop leaving such pretty comments, okay? XD My brain cannot handle your lovins.

Hahah, thanks so much, dear! I'm so very glad you enjoyed it. X3
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you deserve it! I adore getting your poems in my watch box :love:
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, it's such a treat for me to hear that from you, dear! The feeling is one hundred percent mutual. ^^
Reply
:iconschongslipper:
schongslipper Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a great poem. There are so many writers who love abstract, dark, beautiful imagery, and they achieve that. But their words are too separated from each other, too concerned with the image they convey to remember that as a whole, the poem should mean something to. You managed to avoid this and find a balance. There's a real plot that revolves around wonderful imagery, and all of the scenes you paint make sense together. That's really rare, and you did it well.

My one suggestion is to rethink your organization. There are many time when you have too short of lines and it takes away from the piece. Longer lines aren't bad; in fact, if you keep meter intact, they often make it easier to read.

So there you are. You have a fantastic poem and the possibility of making it flow a little better. I love the story behind it, and I hope this comment can help you realize that story a tiny bit more =]
Reply
:iconsomethingoncesacred:
SomethingOnceSacred Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the piece with me! I really appreciate that and can't ask for anything better. ^^ I'm so glad you liked it.

And thank you for bringing that to my attention. Hahah, I will definitely be keeping that in mind when I write from now on.

I have sort of a thing for taking pauses and breaking off lines in odd places, I suppose. Sometimes it reads well and conveys a feeling more accurately, but not always.

Perhaps I'll go back and rework the formatting on this one a bit sometime, but I don't think I'll be doing that right now XD I'd certainly love to play with the concept a little more, though. ^^
Reply
:iconschongslipper:
schongslipper Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know what you mean! I did that a lot too. I would try to save it for special cases when you want to grab the reader's attention. It breaks the rhythm and jerks them awake. You can edit whenever if ever.
Reply
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